the down side

As exciting as it was to be in Samoa, there were things I was not looking forward to and things that made life somewhat less than enjoyable at times.  In order to not bore you with the really shit parts of my life there, here are just the shit parts!

As mentioned in my last entry, there was plenty of rain while there and it was probably the daily bane of my existence.  Firstly, my room looked like it should have been a laundry because more often than not, I could not hang my clothes outside to dry.  Secondly, rain equated to dirt and dodging pools of water everywhere making it a real effort to go places.  Thirdly, my laptop bag had a hole in it I only discovered on my way over and to make things all the more exciting my umbrella broke my second week there making it useless at protecting my laptop in its holy bag from the rain.  Cool.

One of the sad and irritating aspects of being in Samoa was the people who sell a variety of products on the street, particularly children.  I am acutely aware that I stand out in Samoa and these street sellers who will come up to anyone anywhere any time probably thought I had a healthy stash of money (which I did not).  It breaks my heart when the street sellers are children because I think it is no life for a child.  The majority of the children sellers were ones I recognised from when I was living there 2 years ago.  As for the adult sellers, there were a few characters!  One had the nerve to ask me if I had a cigarette after I declined the purchase of his stencil work while I was on the phone.  Rude.

I find males in Samoa to be generally very forward when it comes to females.  And for some reason, I seemed to have males there being generally very forward with me.  One day in town it was really bad.  Taxi drivers were constantly beeping at me, guys constantly wristing (is that what you call it?) at me and constantly calling out to me - all of which I ignored.  Just before getting in a taxi to go home, I decided to make a last minute stop at the Fugalei market where a guy proceeded to yell rather loudly “I love you baby” at me.  I turned around as I walked away and yelled back “Ai kae”.  I do not think the guy or his friends saw that one coming.  Dick.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi. 

some kind of summer

I have been in Samoa now for a few months and finally, a blog entry.  I feel like I blinked after the last entry and I was here.  Now that I am in Samoa, I feel like I have been here forever.  The things I was most looking forward to in Samoa were family, food and drink.  Thankfully I haven’t been disappointed!

Vailima has been going down a treat (except when I didn’t eat anything all day till after copious bottles of Vailima at my nephew’s 1^st birthday) and amongst other outings, I have managed to make it to a V Bar Fiesta!  For those that do not know, at Fiesta you drink as much as you can with good company in 2 hours for 30SAT.  I cannot complain!

I love food in Samoa because I can eat everything I do not normally eat in New Zealand.  Sunday is my favourite day because taro and luau are on the menu!  I enjoy being able to go a shop within a 5 minute drive of my house where I can find pani popo, fresh ripe mangos and keke pua’a just to name a few.  After a drink, Siaosi’s is a must for me when there is no food at home, which really means we had elegi.

My family have been great, especially to have put up with me for all these weeks.  They do not seem to be in any rush to get rid of me either!  My family is a big one which means there are lots of children to make me go crazy when they are not making me laugh.  I am constantly grateful for my family who do everything they can to ensure I am happy here.

One thing I was not prepared for in coming to Samoa was the weather.  We had incessant rain for a solid month.  Now I know it is the wet season here, but I never thought it would rain like it has for as long as it has.  With the rain comes the cold and thankfully I arrived with a few items of warm clothing to make life more bearable.  My dreams of a decent tan are dashed unless the weather makes a miracle turn around.  Here’s hoping for some actual summer weather before I depart!

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi. 

samoa musings

In several weeks I will be off to Samoa, spending Christmas and New Years there.  While I am looking forward to my pending travel, my feelings at this stage are a little mixed.  I am, of course excited about the prospect of spending Christmas somewhere other than New Zealand.  On the other hand, when you have lived in New Zealand for as long as I have, it can be easy to romanticise all that Samoa has to offer.  Even though there a few little negatives I have roaming around in my head, I rest in the knowledge that I will be going well prepared (packing and otherwise), having spent enough time in Samoa to feel confident that everything, in the end, will be fine.  Over the next few weeks I will post on what I am excited about, what I am not excited about and some of my hopes I have for my time in Samoa.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi. 

tweet tweet .. tweet tweet ..

This morning was a delightfully busy one around town, running errands and running into people .. thankfully people I was happy to meet!  When I got home with all errands complete including extras I did not expect to tick off, I ate my lunch, found out my best friend's boyfriend left her, flossed my teeth for the first time in probably a year (disgusting!), brushed my teeth, then sat down to say hello to my Twitter friends.

The only problem with saying hello to my Twitter friends is Twitter is not working properly!  While I can faikala, I cannot tweet back.  Very frustrating!  I never thought I would say this, but I think I have a small problem .. yeah right!  I could totally give up Twitter if I really wanted to .. .. ..

That said, in an attempt to feel like I have responded to my fellow Twits (is that what they are called?) here is what I have to say ..

@Samoan_Prince Did you go to work or are you slacking off like me?Shhhh .. it can be our secret :)

@LisaahAurelia SHUT UP with your photos .. they are fantastic and did I mention I hate you!Hahaha ..

@swisshamo LMBO @ "HELL TO THE NO" .. I'll start reading next year because I do not want to take all them books to the Islands!Why read when I can be drinking and getting a tan!

@maloana LMBO @ #redwine .. check this out http://whatscookingamerica.net/Menu/FormalDinnerSetting.jpg

@maloana @Pacific_Soul I don't think I have been suspended .. what does that mean anyway?I have not changed my username and definitely have not blocked anyone .. #honest!

@maloana @swisshamo @Pasifrika Does who tweet?I can't see what that tweet was about because Twitter is not working!

@sleeping_beutie WELCOME BACK!I emailed you to explain my absence :) And poor Vaniah .. you should teach her how to tweet and call it 'bonding time' ..

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.

it does matter if you are brown or white

Monday morning saw Breakfast host Paul Henry questioning New Zealand Prime Minister John Key as to whether or not Governor-General, Sir Anand Satyanand was a New Zealander, and whether the next Governor-General was going to look and sound more like a New Zealander.  From this, two vocal camps have emerged - those in support of Henry (particularly after being put on a two-week suspension without pay, even after a public apology), and those screaming for blood.  Then there is the gaping majority who don't seem to give a toss!

I will be one of the first to admit I am a Paul Henry fan.  I even tweeted my love for him after his People's Choice Award acceptance speech at the 2010 Qantas Film and Television Awards!  I became a Paul Henry fan earlier this year because A. I started watching Breakfast semi-regularly  B. He is funny and a bit dorky  C. He is not reluctant in sharing his opinions and is prepared to back it or back off, and D. I find the other Breakfast host Pippa Wetzell somewhat boring and Tamati Coffey rather irritating.  While I do think the comments made by Henry were inappropriate, I do not think them inappropriate enough to terminate his contract with TVNZ.

In my eyes, Henry's words are a very real reflection of the view of a number in New Zealand society, both young and old - if you fall outside the category of white middle-upper class and do not speak Kiwi, or Posh-Kiwi for that matter, you have no real claim to belonging to New Zealand.  As much as people in this country are in disbelief that racism like this could and should exist here, the fact remains, racism, in its many forms, is happily rearing its ugly head in Godzone.

And if you don't believe me then just talk to the drunk palagi I saw a few years back aggressively yelling racial slander at anyone walking by who did not mirror his dirty pink skin, or the naive palagi teenagers on my bus last month playing "Spot the Coconut" accompanied with an abundance of sniggers, or the fat-mouth-palagi I met through work blatantly admitting she is racist, or the drug-fucked palagi neighbour three houses down telling my mother to go back to where she came from.  I could go on, but I won't.

All this talk has me coming up with more questions than answers .. When are people going to stop shooting at Paul Henry as if he is the only racist in this country and look at the bigger picture? .. In New Zealand today, how are the seeds for an environment of basic understanding and respect for people from all walks of life nurtured? .. How do I learn to love the aggressive drunks, the naive teenagers, the fat-mouths and the drug-fucked despite their lack of love for me?

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.

Samoa VS South Africa

A few weeks back, the Samoa Observer ran an article on New Zealand-based Samoan woman Sefulu Falealili Hermens who claims poverty does not exist in Samoa, after her experience of witnessing poverty in South Africa.  She was over there for the FIFA World Cup.

I was shocked to think anyone, especially a Samoan, would compare Samoa and South Africa, then come to the conclusion that there is no poverty in Samoa.  And her quote "I always hear that there is poverty in Samoa...but I can tell you from what I saw in South Africa, there is no poverty in Samoa", makes me think she is in no position to be talking on the topic because she has either not been to Samoa, at least in recent years, or she has and is blind because the reality is, poverty DOES exist in Samoa.

It is undeniable that Western ways have been encroaching on fa'asamoa for over a hundred years and has led to natural resources being underutilized by many in Samoa.  There are generations of Samoans who don't know how to put stuff in the ground to make stuff grow for food and shelter.  My question is, is that enough to make ends meet in Samoa today?  Keep in mind a few other basics in life like health care, education and clean running water.  They all cost money remember.

Ignorant people often point the finger and claim that all poverty is self-inflicted.  I disagree and feel compelled to give them the one fingered peace sign.  As with anyone who is living in poverty, one can only imagine the circumstances which have led to their lifestyle.  Laziness leading to poverty is self-inflicted.  Falling through the cracks leading to poverty is injustice.  The ignorant who see people in poverty need to open their eyes and look beyond what is in front of them because the real issue is what has got people in that situation in the first place.

With all that said, I think comparing standards of living between Samoa and South Africa is ridiculous.  Just because the face of poverty in South Africa compared to Samoa seems to be overtly in your face and there seems to be more hope, especially in regards to natural resources for Samoa compared to South Africa, it does not mean poverty does not exist in Samoa.  Poverty comes in all different shapes and sizes.  I only wish Sefulu could see that too.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.

Chasing Dad

Last week on the Samoa Observer website, I read the article "Do you know this boy?" which led me to the immensley heart-warming blog Chasing Dad by a Kiwi man named Al Ronberg on his journey to visiting Samoa.  Al's father who passed away in 2000 after battling Alzheimer's disease, spent time in Samoa during the 60's, including Samoa's Independence Day.  In short, October will see Al and his family travelling to Samoa - a place that has captivated him for the longest time and a place his father adored.  Part of Al's journey to Samoa includes attempting to find a boy in a few of his father's old photographs taken in Samoa (one pictured above).

Reading Al's blog got me thinking about my own journey back to Samoa as an adult.  I had been to Samoa several times as a child, however time erased all but a few precious memories.  In my early 20's, I started talking about going back and a few years later, I finally made the move to live there, albeit a short while.  It was not till on the plane from Auckland that I fully comprehended what I was doing.  All these mixed emotions overwhelmed me as I thought of all I had left behind and the unknown that lay ahead.

That first trip back to Samoa will forever be one of the greatest experiences of my life.  To see, to smell, to touch, to taste, to feel, to hear, to breathe, to cry, to hurt, to laugh and to love in Samoa somehow helped me know myself better.  And the strengthening of the connection to my mother who is Samoan, to her parents and their parents by simply being, in a land I had yearned to be part of again, is priceless.

To Al Ronberg, I wish you well and hope you find what you are looking for.  Keep your heart and mind open and everything else will follow.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.

My Heartland

Tonight the moon is bearing bright on the land.  It is nights like these I often think about my Grandmother.  When I was young she would tell me stories about how she would lie awake in bed while everyone else slept, reading by moonlight.

Tonight the air is enveloping everything with it's chill.  It is nights like these I often think about my Grandmother.  When I was young she would tell me stories about how she would have to walk to school, rain or shine.  Winters were the worst.

Tonight the heart is heavy with longing.  It is nights like these I often think about my Grandmother.  Now that I am no longer young and she has gone, I long for more stories that give sight to the landscape of her Heartland.

Tonight is one of those nights I often think about my Grandmother.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.

'O le lima e paia le mata

While we are on the topic of labels, I thought I would explore another label I have been smacked with in my time...

Palagi.

The funny thing is, I don't think I ever got called a Palagi by just about anyone until I lived in Samoa, and the people referring to me as Palagi were Samoans!  If only they knew.  Or even if they did know, would that have changed anything?  I know a few times it would have because I bummed a few people out.

The most memorable was while out on my own watching some sport and very much minding my own business, I caught a man sitting further down from me confidently exclaiming to his friends in Samoan that I knew absolutely nothing about fa'asamoa.  I looked up at the unfamiliar face just as one of his friends was telling the guy that I in fact did know something of fa'asamoa and understood what he was saying as he had heard me talking Samoan earlier.  With all confidence gone, I never saw the guy again.

Sure I have fair skin, but what is it that possesses a Samoan to assume I am clueless about fa'asamoa?  And to declare this right in-front of me? 

One thing I know for sure is I am Samoan.  I have a history, a culture and a tradition I share with every other Samoan, irrespective of where I was born.

This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.