On a recent trip to Samoa I caught a taxi to the airport and ended up with a chatty, older Samoan driver. Not something I was celebrating about at 5:30am when I wanted a power nap before having to sprint to check in.
Not even a minute after pulling out of my street the driver asks where I am going so I repeat that I would like to go to the international terminal and hope for an end to the conversation. Then the driver asks if I am going to Wellington or Australia or somewhere else. At this point the aiport is still a good 20 minutes away and it's official, having been awake almost 24 hours, this teine is nothing short of grouchy. I figure the driver is probably just trying to be nice and friendly so I politely tell him I am going to Samoa. One half of me is thanking God like fury that the driver is not exuding even the slightest dodgy vibe while the other half of me cringing as reality kicks in and tells me that nap will just have to wait for the plane.
Driver: O, why you go Samoa?
Me: Spend time with family.
Driver: Isioa first time to Samoa?
Driver: ARE YOU SAMOA?
Driver: Oi, you speak a Samoa?
Me: A little bit.
He chuckles then starts speaking Samoan. Shit shit shit. How do I tell this driver I cannot deal without being a bitch? I need a nap!
How many time you been in Samoa?
How long for your trip?
What you gonna do in Samoa?
What sioa village?
Wea you stay ova dea?
Who you stay wif?
A you a full Samoa?
A you marry?
A you got a gits?
Whatsa name of ioa unko brada cousin dog wife?
You can take a taxi driver out of Samoa, but you can't take Samoa out of a taxi driver.
This is me - Teine 'Afakasi.